A few years ago when I started my MA TESOL program, I made a pivotal decision. I announced to my husband, “I’m going to shoot for a B in every class.”

His expression registered shock because he knows me well—I’m a perfectionist when it comes to academic achievement, and every transcript I have ever received reflects that priority. The couple of Bs that do show up in my records have always represented the shame of defeat.

So what made me decide to shoot for a B on purpose?

I realized from the beginning of my Master’s program that I had a choice. I could either make my family’s lives miserable by pushing for an A in all my courses, or I could decide to get an A in family harmony and a B in my coursework. With three kids ranging in age from 1 to 5, there was no having it both ways. Either I was going to put my family first, or stress myself (and everyone around me) out by trying to do top-notch work around naps and preschool pickup.

And then a funny thing happened. I ended up enjoying my studies more than I ever had before. I worked during quiet times of the day and put my laptop away when my family needed my attention. I stopped working in time to get a good night’s sleep, and submitted papers before they were perfect. I repeated my mantra “shoot for a B” many, many times, and I felt more relaxed than I ever thought would be possible under the circumstances.

And. . . I got an A in all my classes. But honestly, that’s beside the point.

Because I learned an important lesson that I’ve carried with me ever since. Sometimes in life, you need to choose what you really want to get an A in, and then consciously decide to shoot for a B in everything else.

For me, my A subjects are faith, family, and physical health. In everything else, including my work, I choose to shoot for a B. If I end up getting an A in my work, great! But that’s a bonus. I refuse to strive for that at the expense of any of my top three priorities.

Here’s what that looks like in practical terms:

• A daily walk and regular Pilates workouts to keep me feeling healthy and strong

• Reading aloud to my kids at bedtime and spending one-on-one time with each of them at least once a week

• Prioritizing daily spiritual practices like prayer and devotional reading

• Spending intentional time with my husband every evening after the kids go to bed

• Stopping work when my kids get home from school to sit down and chat with them about their day (sometimes I go back to work after that, sometimes I don’t)

Depending on your job and your life priorities, the way you do this may look very different. I recognize that as a business owner, I have more flexibility in my schedule than most people do. But one thing rings true regardless of where you work or what your priorities are: if you refuse to choose your B subjects, they will be selected by default. And odds are, the Bs may be things that should have been As.

Who gets to the end of their life and wishes they had worked harder at their job? By contrast, consider how many people reach their final days and realize they should have prioritized their family more. The important things in life have a way of getting pushed to the back burner unless we make a conscious decision to get an A in those things, and take a B in everything else.

So here’s a gentle reminder to allow yourself to shoot for a B in your B subjects. Not everything can or should be an A.

Another Listening Activity

In the spirit of the more practical ideas I generally like to share here, let me offer a listening activity I created for my students last week about Homecoming traditions.

I realized that this custom could potentially be completely foreign for parents who don’t have a similar tradition to compare it to. In this audio with captions, I explain the concept of “school spirit” and touch on a few common activities that usually take place during Homecoming Week.

Learning Something New

It’s always fun to discover something new about my second language (Spanish), which I’ve now been speaking for nearly three decades.

This week I posed a question on LinkedIn about the word sumercé, a version of the antiquated form of address, su merced (something along the lines of Your Grace in English).

The result was a fascinating conversation that brought in more comments than anything else I’ve ever posted, and taught me something new about a special substitute for tú or usted, used mainly in one specific region of Colombia. I’m grateful to all the Spanish speakers who contributed to this lively exchange of ideas!

If you’re interested in languages in general, or Spanish in particular, you may find this conversation as interesting as I did!

Thank you for welcoming me into your inbox each month—it’s a privilege to share my thoughts and ideas with you. Keep doing the wonderful work you’re doing, and doing it with love!

Bethany